Sabtu, 28 Maret 2015
Hello friend..,my name is Hafiz Nur Islami,you can call me
cak .I have a dream.when I was child, I want to be police.Then when I was in
senior-hgh shool,I prepare my self to be police but I didn’t pass the test with
goodscore and now I am student of semarang state universty. My dream is I want
to be bussinessman.I start to be bussinessman since I’m in senior high shcool.I
try to open distro and sell shirt .I get my
own money and its work untill now. In Unnes I join with MARCH,its marketing organization on there I hope that I can improve my skill in marketing
to sell my product. What I will do to make my dreams come true is I have to get
many experience in many organization of marketing and I have to work hard to
make my business success.
Hi Cak Hafiz,thanks for posting. What is wrong with "when I was child"? An article (a,an,the) is needed. Can you make the correct version?
BalasHapusI hope your business always succes Cak
BalasHapusMay I know, where is your distro ? and have you an idea to built distro near Unnes ?
Wow, it's good. You have have a distro altough your old are still young. Great appreciation for you. :D
BalasHapusBy the way, your name is Hafiz Nur Islami, but I can call you Cak. Why ? Do you have reason or story about that ?
Hi Hafis
BalasHapusI hope your dream will come true and succes for you business. you is a young businessman :)
Chintiya, I think it must "you are" not "you is" :)
Hapusthats a great dream !! but hafiz in your posting there is some typo , please correct it and be careful :D
BalasHapusI think you have some mistakes in your project.
BalasHapus1. In your sentence "when I was child,...", you should use the capital letter "W" in word "when".
2. Most of your sentences do not used space after coma (,) and full stop (.), i think you need space.
I'm sorry if I wrong..
Hi Hafis ..
BalasHapusI will give you some corrections of your task.
"...you can call me cak" you should use capital letter of word "cak". The correct is "Cak".
"I have a dream" when you have many dreams, so you should write "I have some dreams".
"when I was child, I want(ed) to be police" you should use capital letter in word "when". The correct is "When". Then "want" is past tense so you should write "wanted", and before "police" you should give "a".
Are you sure with sentence "senior-hgh shool", I think the correct is "Senior High School" you should use capital letter.
"I prepare(d) my self to be (a) police" I think the sentence is past tense so you should V2. The correct is "I prepared ..." then before "police" you should give "a".
"..student","..bussinessman", ".marketing" you should give "a" before the word "student and businessman" so the correct is "..a student", "... a businessman", and ".. a marketing".
"semarang state universty" I think it is incorrect. The correct is "Semarang State University"..
"..its work", "many organization" you should adding -s, so the correct is ".. it's works", "..many organizations"..
"a marketing organization on there" on there if we translate in indonesia language is "di disana" so you should better eliminate "on". So the correct is " ...organization there"
Please correction again the punctuation!
BalasHapusbefore full stop you don't use space, then after full stop you should use space.
Fighting to make your dreams come true. :)
What a great dreams cak, and it sounds good that you already start to reah your dreams.
BalasHapusBut I think you must correct again the punctuation in your project above.